Chapter 6

Random Roommate:

“There are the Best of Times and the Worst of Times”

August 2012- October 2012

 

My cousin once told me a story that seemed to make perfect since. She told me that her mom’s best friend always gave her daughter advice when something wasn’t going her way. The mother would simply say, “Now Grace, there are the best of times and the worst of times, and right now Grace, we are experiencing the worst of times.” After thinking about  the advice it has pretty much summed up my college experience thus far. I have had plenty “best of times,” and I have experienced my share of “worst of times.” Remember when I said the roommate stories were coming?

Since I didn’t have the option of rooming with a guy from my high school; I chose to take the random roommate track. Yes, the random roommate track can be hard, but it is all a part of the first-year college experience. Remember when I told you that getting to know your roommate is a good idea? Well, when I met mine for the first time I thought that the roommate experience was going to be a very easy transition. We had a great conversation about our high school experiences, and we were both stoked about going to Carolina. However, I should have realized that there is a big difference in hanging out with someone, and actually living with that person. 

On move-in day I learned first-hand how difficult the roommate experience can be.  My roommate had arrived earlier that day and already had set his side of the room up. When I walked into the room with my parents and my cousin, I thought that we should set the room up a different way. When I proposed a new room plan, he informed me that he had already plugged in his computer charger and he wasn’t going to unplug it. My parents looked at him with this dumbfounded look, and we just kept working. My advice would be to not argue with your roommate, but to just choose your battles with them when you don’t agree with everything they say. I decided that the best time to talk to him about the room setup was not when I was moving in.

The first week on campus with my roommate was not pleasant.  For starters, he had the alarm going off at 8am, and we weren’t even in class. When I asked why he had the alarms set he told me that it was because he wanted to get used to waking up early. However, the bad part about it was that he wouldn’t cut the alarms off. He would just sit in his bed and eventually I would get mad enough and cut them off myself. I should reiterate that learning to live with someone can be difficult. No matter how much you think you know your roommate, it will be an experience that you will never forget. The alarm situation didn’t last long because I actually had to get up, so all of the alarms have benefited me. If I don’t get up on the first buzz, I am quickly awakened by the sound of his pop music. I can still remember, “Someone like you” by Adele, booming from the speakers one morning, and I think that is the morning I almost threw the radio out the window. 

The number one reason I decided to live in the substance-free dorm was because I didn’t want to have to deal with my roommate coming in drunk. I figured a person who wanted to live in a substance-free dorm would go to bed at a decent hour; however, my roommate doesn’t sleep. When I mean doesn’t sleep, I mean he usually goes to bed at 3 or 4am. He doesn’t just stay up this late on the weekends, but this is an everyday ritual. There have even been times where he doesn’t sleep at all. I woke up one morning at like 5am, and he was nowhere to be found. But, I finally found him and, he was just sleeping in the lounge. Even though his sleeping habits are different than mine, he has never disrupted my sleeping pattern. Sometimes the people in our dorm joke with us because I am the one that goes to bed super early, and he goes to bed super late.  When we decided to move our room around it seemed to be a very stressful situation for my roommate. I found that somewhat understandable though. He had already gotten used to the room arrangement that we were in, and I was just feeling the need for a change. One of the hardest challenges you will have with your roommate is compromising on issues. The small issue of rearranging your room can be a big deal for some people. Everyone is different in a way, and I am different in the fact that I like to change things up every now and then. After working out a way to design our room, we bunked the beds, and were able to consolidate for more space. So my advice when making decisions like rearranging the room is to take both of your ideas and come to a mutual agreement. Also I would suggest getting some friends down the hall to help because rearranging the room can be a ton of work. 

Even though I can’t stand my roommate sometimes, I wouldn’t change this experience for anything. It is a great experience learning to live on your own, and learning to live with someone else. I guarantee that you will dislike at least one thing about your roommate, but make sure you don’t get into an argument with them. My roommate and I have not had an argument yet, and I don’t plan on getting in one anytime soon. My advice would be to not room with one of your friends because if you were friends before, there is a chance that you won’t be friends after the roommate experience. Even though my roommate wasn’t great with cutting off his own alarm, and he doesn’t understand the word sleep; he keeps his side of the room clean, and he respects my belongings. That may sound a little childish, but I think it is one of the most important things with a dorm. For instance, who wants to walk into a stinky, messy room? Not this guy.

If my roommate is reading this am not apologizing for what I have stated; I just wanted people to realize that rooming with someone is a difficult experience. I am also sure that he could reiterate the fact that I have some weird habits of my own. For example, on move in day I brought in a truck load of clothes, which for a guy my age is very odd. I have also found myself going to bed at 9:30 on some evenings, which is not typical of a college student.

Even though my roommate and I are very different, I still treat him with respect. Since I have not known him for long enough I have not had the opportunity to actually get to know him as a person. The only thing that I have experienced is the way that he deals with simple living things. If you base your roommate experience solely on “alarm clocks” or “bed times” you will never get the chance to know someone. Yes, it’s annoying at times when someone is different than you, but in reality, you are different to them too. I don’t know what the future holds for the two of us, but in the time between now and the end of the year, I hope to get know who he really is. At the end of the year my roommate and I will have had our share of the “best and worst of times,” and I really can’t wait to experience them!

So some guidelines for rooming your first year:

1.      Go random, it’s worth it for the experience

2.      Respect their belongings

3.      Go to bed at a decent hour

4.      Cut OFF your alarm!

5.      They have feelings and opinions, so respect them

6.       No matter how different they are at first, give them a chance