Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Let’s Get Real:

“To change without changing”

 

In the process of writing this book I have been posting each chapter on a blog so that my family, friends, and past teachers can feel connected with my college experience. I also decided to make business cards and hand them out during my tours with the Admissions Ambassador program. I thought that this would be a great way for students to connect with me before I even graduate college. This has also helped benefit the process of in which I have written this book. My mom, who has probably been the biggest help of all in the process, is always willing to give her opinion about each chapter. Even though I value my mom’s opinion; I feel like sometimes that she has to be somewhat too nice to me, so when I get advice from non-family members I really take it to heart.

After the Duke game I headed home for Spring Break, to kick back, make a few bucks, and throw my parents a surprise 25^th wedding anniversary party. Spring Break is a great time to get caught up on sleep, go on a trip, or in my case go back home and spend time with your family. I guess all of the college breaks are like that, but it seems as if each new one is different. Like I mentioned, a number of different people have been reading my blog, and most of those people are from back home. During spring break my preacher called me from my hometown church to explain that he had read my blog in its entirety. We spoke for about twenty minutes about my blog postings, and he gave me some really intriguing insights. He told me that he enjoyed reading about all of my experiences, and even mentioned a few stories from his college days. However, he presented me with a challenge. He asked me to get real with the reader. To get more personal with what is going on in my life as a college student. For a minute I was confused because I feel as if I have been pouring my thoughts and heart into this book. And then he asked me a very important question, “What have you not succeeded at?” I didn’t know what to think, primarily because I really hadn’t thought about it. My plan for this book was to explain how to become a successful college student, but what I didn’t realize was that I hadn’t really elaborated on the times or the parts of my experience that hadn’t been successful. The only part that I had explained was how I was dealing with homesickness. After concluding our conversation I began to ponder about what I was leaving out, and realized I have a lot to share. So if you don’t mind, sit back, get a cola, and enjoy this chapter J.

As I write about the negatives or failures I have had while in college, I don’t want you to be scared about attending college. A wise man once said,  “….I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” –Michael Jordan

When you begin college you will soon learn that it will challenge you mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually. In my opinion at least of one of those traits will be challenged at any given time during your entire life.

Anyone can tell you that college will challenge you mentally. However, no one can tell you how it will challenge you. Most are challenged by either their course load or the feeling of homesickness. The meaning behind the title of “to change without changing” is that college will make you a different person, but you should never change who you are. What I mean by change is that I have seen my life change in a blink of an eye. I mentioned before that my aunt passed away with cancer right before I moved in to my dorm in August. My aunt was the backbone of our family. She was the center and the home of “fun times.” If we were to have a cookout with our families, we went to Tina’s, if I was bored on the weekend, we went to Tina’s. Tina was so special to my family, and I am so thankful that God allowed her to spend her years entertaining my crazy family. When I came home for the first time in the fall, I found myself thinking about going to Tina’s to hang out. Life is full of change, and it is so hard sometimes. Coming home to my house is another story. During the conversation with my preacher, he shared that he believes that you can never come back home. He explained that home will never be the same again. Yes, home is where the heart is, but it will never be the same. You are no longer that little boy running through the hallways. That was a tough pill to swallow. Every experience is different, but it feels as if I walked off of the stage on June 8^th 2012, and stepped into a college classroom. It goes that fast, and your life changes just as fast.  

The academics in college can challenge you in ways that the high school classroom never did. In a college class you are surrounded by people who are just as smart as or smarter than you. The college course load has been at times hard to handle for me. I find myself getting less sleep, and having less fun when I have to study for exams. It is never fun to spend a Friday or Saturday night studying. But, you have to accept it in order to be successful. I will say that coming to college has made me a better student, but I haven’t made better grades while in college. In high school I never made a B, so coming to UNC I thought I could continue that path. After a few failed exams, I soon learned that probably wouldn’t happen. The point at which you begin to accept B’s is hard. At least for me I wasn’t used to making that kind of grade and got really down on myself. For instance, this semester I have not been doing well in my Italian class. I continually call my mom and tell her how hard it is, and how I feel like I will never make it through the class. By being the great mom that she is, she helps me get through it and some of my stress goes away. When she finally asked me what my grade was in the class, I told her it was in the B to B+ category. She said, “What?!! Austin, do you know that I have been praying for you because I thought you were failing?” I didn’t realize that was how bad my attitude had gotten about the class. I honestly have not enjoyed that class because I know that the best I can make is a B+. In some college classes, you will try your hardest, and still make a B. I learned very quickly that a B is not a bad grade in college. The stress that you give yourself is actually worse than any grade you could ever receive.

In November, I became an uncle which has continued to change my life. Since then I have watched my nephew Luke grow and it has been quite an experience. When you see the happiness a family can have with a little miracle, it really gives you hope about your future. When I come home I get to see my nephew, and it is always nice seeing him smile. However, I don’t get to see him every day like I would like too. Every time that I get to see him, he looks different. Luke is a lot like my life, everyday something is changing. My sister and her husband, just recently bought their first home, and it just happens to be right behind the house I grew up in. The next time that I return home I will be able to have a good meal, see my nephew, and share a few laughs in a radius of about 100 feet.

How could college challenge you physically? In a recent article I read, it said that most college students gain on average a half a pound a week. This is obtained by overeating, drinking, and lack of exercise. It was hard for me to believe this statistic, but the article explained that in an average dorm room people have all of their needs. For example, its only two steps to the fridge, three to the bed, and one to the desk. In your dorm, you do much less walking than you do inside your house. I have gained a little bit of weight while in college, which is surprising to me because I thought I wouldn’t gain any. I figured I could workout, and eat the right amounts each day. However, sometimes homework and studying takes priority over working out. The physical aspect can actually affect your mental outlook. My advice would be to try and do something active at least five times a week. This is because working out is a huge stress reliever, and when I am not active I am less productive and feel a little depressed.

Different people deal with the social pressures of college in a variety of ways. As you know from reading a previous chapter that I don’t believe in drinking. If you are coming to college to go partying every weekend, you are coming for the wrong reasons. I have changed socially in the way that I go about meeting new people. When I was in high school I felt like I was there to please other people. So, I would never do some of the things I really wanted to do. Please don’t get me wrong, I loved every minute of high school, but in high school you are sometimes bullied or looked down upon if you do something different. For instance, I would have never dressed up like Tinkerbelle or been a Banana Man in high school. For some reason or another, college has given me a since of boldness, or maybe I had it all along.

My spiritual life has never been tested like it has been tested in these last few months. I haven’t had anyone challenge my faith in a public setting yet, but I have had to work with my personal faith. I am a Christian, and God is my number one. However, sometimes I think it would be hard for anyone to realize that. Some people have heard me cuss, be negative to others, and seen me miss church on multiple occasions. During the first semester I actually found myself attending church on a pretty regular basis, but as time began to progress, the time at church began to diminish. I was more worried about basketball games, tests, and sleep. Even though all of those are important, nothing is more important than God. Since I am on my own now, it seems as if I have figure that continued to realize what God has done for my family and I. Even though I have realized these things I still haven’t made it to church like I used to or worked on my relationship with Christ like I would have hoped. In my opinion, I have fallen into a comfort zone. If you are unfamiliar with the term “comfort zone” that is just went you are in peace with your life. No one should ever be in their comfort zone because there is always room for improvement in one’s life. I am truly disappointed in myself for not attending church on the Sundays where I just slept in. I knew committing myself to church would be very difficult, but I didn’t know that it would be this difficult. Even though I have not been going to church on a regular basis, I still read my daily devotional every morning. I would advise you to do so as well. There will be times when you fall into your comfort zone, and feel like you can’t get out, and by having that devotional it can help pull you out.

After rereading this chapter it’s amazing to look back on all that has changed in my life in a short amount of time. I lost a hero, became an uncle, gained a few pounds, and have evolved into a young adult. By reflecting on my college experience it has given me encouragement about my future, and hope when times get tough. To be honest, there are times that I feel like I will never make it across the stage again. When I got to thinking why this might be, I came upon this conclusion. In high school, I knew I was going to college after graduation, but after college graduation I have no idea. There is so much uncertainty about my future, and that is why I have doubt. I have doubt, however I also have faith in my future because I know the man behind it all has already done some miraculous things so far.  

 

 

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Duke vs. UNC

“The Greatest Rivalry in Sports”

March 9, 2013

If you’re not a basketball fan, I am sure that you are sick of me talking about basketball all of the time. If you are one of those people, just give this a chapter a chance and you might be transformed into a college basketball fan.

There are a few rivalries in sports that stick out to most people: The Yankees and the Socks, the Lakers and the Celtics, and in my opinion the greatest of all the Devils and the Heels. The Duke Blue Devils and the North Carolina Tar Heels began this fierce rivalry in 1920. Since then it has been a rivalry that has produced a plethora of hall of famers, multiple national championships, and has been witness to some of the greatest basketball games of all time.

As you already know I grew up hating the sight of Duke. Some of my parent’s friends even called it “brainwashing.” The word Duke has never been a word that has evoked any positive connotation in our house, and if we knew someone who cheered for Duke they were scratched off of our friends list (just kidding). The Helms house bleeds Carolina Blue. It can not only be seen in our wardrobes, but anytime that the Heels are on TV, our house shuts down. My dad used to recite Woody Durham’s famous quote to us (Woody is a famous announcer for UNC Basketball). “Go where you go, and do what you do, when the Tar Heels are in trouble.” I didn’t hear those words much, but when I did, I knew my dad meant business. For some reason, the Helms household actually thought they had an impact on the game. This all might seem odd, but I just wanted to explain how I was brought into this life. Loving the Tar Heels, and hating the Devils, it’s just my way of life.

When I was a small child I always dreamed of going to a UNC vs. Duke game. I can still remember asking my dad if we could go, and he would always explain to me how hard it was to get a ticket. I was very young at the time, so I didn’t take it very well. However, now I understand fully what he was talking about. The UNC vs. Duke game isn’t like any other game, it’s completely different. The atmosphere of this game is something that can’t be touched, and that atmosphere comes with a high price tag.

When I arrived at UNC I knew that I would at least have the opportunity to go to one Duke game because the university gives a priority to seniors. So arriving on campus as a freshman I never dreamed of going to the big game. However, as I mentioned in an earlier chapter I got involved. One of the clubs that I joined was Carolina Fever. In short, Carolina Fever is a club for students to join together and attend sporting events. Since basketball tickets are in such high demand at UNC; the top 150 people with the most points in Carolina Fever get basketball tickets.  For example, if you were to go to a volleyball game in the fall, you would earn three points. After I figured out how to earn tickets I began to attend as many sporting events as possible in hope I would get Duke Tickets. During fall break I even made my dad take me back early so I could go to a soccer game. I wanted the ticket so bad!!

During the season I was fortunate enough to earn tickets for all of the basketball games, but I was still unsure if I was going to get the Duke ticket. As you can guess, I should have never worried, I got the Duke Ticket!! As a freshman I got the Duke Ticket. I not only got a Duke Ticket, but I got a phase 1 ticket, which meant I would be one of the first students to enter the Dean Dome. I really couldn’t believe that I got a ticket because I remember my dad saying how hard it was to get a ticket. I was finally going to get to live out my dream!

The date was March 9^th, 2013, spring break had begun, and it was time for the UNC vs. Duke game. When the game is held at UNC it is a little different than when it is held 8 miles down the road at Cameron Indoor. Firstly, the tickets at Cameron are much harder to get because their arena is so much smaller. Also the students at Duke have to camp out in order to get a ticket. UNC uses a lottery system if you are not in the top 150 of Carolina Fever. Since we didn’t have to camp out to get our tickets we could show up a few hours before the doors opened. The UNC athletic association also makes sure that people don’t campout to be first in line. They do this by randomizing the line. For instance, if there are 500 people in line and they call number 300, number 300 would go first. The system can work for you or against you; it all depends on the number that is called.  

Since I had a phase 1 ticket I had to get to the Dean Dome a little early so that I would be in line for the randomization. A couple of buddies of mine and I arrived at the Dome at 3:15. The randomization was scheduled for 4:00. I was given number 259, and I was hoping that my number or close to my number would be called. I have never been a lucky person. I once won the lottery though; I bought a $1 ticket and won $1. That was the first and last lottery ticket I bought.  I have never had great luck, so I figured someone right behind me would be called and I would have to go to the back of the line.

I was wrong….

When 4:00pm came up the security guard began to make his way down the line. He kept saying a number, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. He kept approaching my group and kept repeating the same number. Finally, he got close enough and I made out the number. He said “number 252,” wait….. He just said what? I was 259 remember. I took a breath, looked at one of the guys I came with and we just started yelling. I was going to be the eighth person in line. That meant that I was going to be on the front row of the UNC vs. Duke game. I was not only attending the UNC vs. Duke game as a freshman, but I was going to be posted up on the front row. Did I mention that the #bananaman was still alive? Oh yeah, the banana would be on the front row. College Gameday, ESPN primetime, Dickey V baby, all of it began to sink in. The people in front of us were also realizing how lucky we just got. One of the guys kept saying, “senior year, senior year!” I looked at him and said “freshman year, freshman year!”  We high fived, shared a laugh and paraded to the front of line.

When we finally passed all of the 200+ students that were in front of us, we all got on our cell phones and began to call our friends and relatives. It was if we had won the real lottery! In that moment I was quite possibly the happiest I had ever been. This was something I could only dream about. I actually texted my mom and said, “A dream is only a dream, until you make it a reality.” I know that I was very fortunate to make it to the front row, but the text just seemed appropriate. The phone calls, texts and tweets took up a majority of our time in line because we were all in shock. I even tweeted Dick Vitale and told him that if he had the chance he should come see the #bananaman in the student section.

The wait took a long time, but it was well worth it. If we were to win the game it was going to be a huge upset. Duke was ranked 3^rd in the nation, and we were unranked. However, my Heels were on a 6 game win streak and the Tar Heel faithful had hope. When the security guards finally let us in at 6:30 we came busting in. I was actually stopped by a security guard who told me to slow down. She didn’t have any idea how long I had waited for this moment. The banana and I scooted down to the risers, and we claimed our spot on the front row!

The experience I had at on the front row got better as time progressed. We were informed by some of the security guards that we needed to behave while in the risers. They said that the courtside seats in front of us cost in the range of $50,000. For real though, the security guard dropped the 50G on us. I stood in disbelief and he reassured us that if we got out of hand that they could have us removed. I took his advice and continued to absorb everything.

Since this was my first experience of the rivalry in person I was in heaven; especially when all of the celebrities walked out. There were so many famous people in the building that I couldn’t even find them all. Just to name a few, Andy Roddick, Brooklyn Decker, Mitch Kupchak, Merril Hoge, and Andrew Wiggins were in the audience. Andrew Wiggins, the number one recruit for the class of 2013, was sitting about five people to the left of me. I’m not going to lie, that was pretty exciting. Dick Vitale made his way over to the student section and I got to shake his hand. The electricity before the game is something that I will never forget.

The game on the other hand was not as electric. The Heels didn’t play up to potential. We didn’t make the shots that we usually make, and the Devils made all of their shots and then some. We were down 18 at halftime and it wasn’t looking bright for us. All I kept saying to myself was, “go where you go, and do what you do,” but I realized I couldn’t do that because I was in the Dome. I hope my dad understood that I could go where I go.

The Heels came out much better in the second half, scoring a little better and playing defense on a slightly higher level. But, it was Duke’s night. They were feeling it. Sharpshooter, Seth Curry didn’t miss his shot, and the Tar Heel big men couldn’t handle the size or the athleticism of Mason Plumlee. When the final buzzer rang, the score was 69-53 in favor of Duke.

The score might have been in a favor of Duke on that Saturday night, but I still felt like a winner. I had experienced something that some just dream about, and something that was probably a once and a lifetime opportunity. If we would have won the game, I probably could have written a totally different book on the subject. However, the experience was all I needed.

I hope that you, the reader gain something from this. Maybe you aren’t a UNC fan, or maybe you are not a basketball fan at all, but everyone has a dream. Since I was a small child I wanted to go to a UNC vs. Duke game, and I finally got to experience it. No, I didn’t know when it was going to come, or how it was going to come, but I made that dream a reality. Living out a dream is hard to explain. It’s something that is surreal in every way. When you finally get to experience the reality of a dream, take it all in. Scream, yell, and get pumped because you made it happen. You might have had a little luck on the way, but you took the small steps to get to where you are. Keep working hard, keep studying, because one day it will all pay off!

 

Chapter 13

Becoming a Veteran:

“Just Call Me Kobe”

February 2013

 

When I was in first grade I was a diehard LA Laker fan. I can still remember the Shaquille O’Neal jersey my parents bought me for Christmas. I wore that purple jersey everywhere. Since I lived in North Carolina and I was only in first grade I figured that I would never get to see my favorite team play. However it just so happened that I became really good friends with a season ticket holder of what used to be the Charlotte Hornets. During first grade Chris Baker and I became really good friends, and he eventually learned how much I loved the Lakers. So, as you may have guessed he invited me to go watch the Lakers in Charlotte with him. I don’t think I realized it then, but going to a Lakers game is a huge deal. Especially for basketball fans, and it just so happened that this Lakers team had three hall of famers. The legendary Phil Jackson, the face of the franchise, Kobe Bryant, and my favorite player of all time Shaq, all were suited up and in front of me that night. We arrived at the game a little early so I was able to watch the players’ warm-up from our lower deck seats. For a first grader the gigantic basketball players didn’t seem like real humans; they were giants! As my dream of watching a Lakers game became a reality I began to take it all in. I can still remember the day like it was yesterday. I remember being amazed by the huge TV screen and I even missed Shaq dunking it because I was just so infatuated by the entire arena. Even though I did miss some key parts of the game; I got to see the most important part.

The game was tight the entire game and no one could really claim a substantial lead. It was one of those games where the last person to have the ball was going to win. And it just so happened that the Lakers had the ball with 20 seconds left on the clock, and everyone knew who was going to take the shot. The Hornets were up one and the Charlotte faithful were on their feet.  As time fell, the ball was placed into the veteran’s hand, Kobe Bryant. Kobe dribbled a few seconds, made his move, drained a shot from the corner and the buzzer sounded. Since I was surrounded by ticked off Hornets fans, I had to celebrate discreetly. The Lakers game is one of my most treasured childhood memories.

You might be wondering why in the world I would share something like that, but I feel as if Kobe and I have a little in common. No, I don’t have the rings, the fame, or the basketball ability, but I am slowly becoming a veteran of this thing called college. Even though my classes are more difficult and I am much busier than I was first semester; it feels as if I am becoming a great college student. My study skills have seemed to improve, I am reading more than ever, and I feel like every day seems to zoom by.  I hope I am not getting over confident, but I just want to express to you that the college experience gets easier. At times, like how I was just a few weeks ago, you’ll want to give up, but you have to realize that you can make it through the adversity.

The spring semester allows you to see college in a different way, and you have to remember to continue to search for opportunities because with a new semester comes new opportunities. If you’re at a college basketball school you will have the opportunity to attend basketball games. Attending basketball games at UNC has been an incredible experience. It has been an incredible experience because I have waited so long to have the opportunity to come to these games, and because I am now called “The Banana Man.” I know what you’re thinking. This Austin guy, he’s weird, he’s crazy, and why would he dress up as a banana at a UNC basketball game? A banana has no correlation with the Tar Heels and it’s not even the same color, why would anyone do that. Trust me, I have been asked those same questions a thousand times, and my answer is still the same. Why not? Or sometimes I tell them I want to get on TV so that my parents can see me. I see it as another opportunity to do something that I have never done. It seems like a silly opportunity, but it’s not every day that you get to wait in line for hours in the freezing cold just to dress up like a banana. By being at every home game dress like a banana I have gained plenty of ESPN time, the title of “The Banana Man” around campus, and an experience that has made my college experience even more worthwhile. I am finding that the more that I step out of my comfort zone; the more doors that are opened. I have learned some valuable lessons by being “The Banana Man” over this short time.

1.      Sometimes you have to wait in line, but when that door opens, you better be ready.

2.      When you’re studies become overwhelming, take a break.

3.      When the Tar Heels make a shot, Go Bananas!

It is very important to be involved with the college environment. If you are not a college basketball fanatic like me, it is still a crucial part of the experience. I felt like I hit on this enough in a past chapter, but I really want to hammer home all of the positive experiences I have had with getting involved on campus.

My second semester is already proving to be harder than the first and I know I will have to work harder this semester than I did in the last. However, the time is flying by and the first exam season is already here. I might not make the game winning shots like Kobe does, but I have a feeling that when I walk out of this place in four years; I’ll look back on my experiences and give them a place in my Hall of Fame.

 

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Semester Take 2:

“No More Pep Rallies”

January 2013

When I look back on previous chapters, it’s really hard to believe what all I have accomplished and what all I was able to get involved with. It feels like yesterday that I was worried that I wouldn’t make friends and that getting involved would be impossible at a school of this size. However, after getting acclimated, I was able to have a great first semester college experience.

I guess I said that because when I was reading the past chapters it all felt too good to be true, like I didn’t experience anything bad or upsetting. It was as if I was running on a “UNC” high. I couldn’t get enough of the opportunities, and since I was getting so involved I never had time to reflect on my entire life.

The month I had at home gave me time to reflect. Enough time to realize that, yes I had done everything I wanted to and then some, but I realized that my family was the reason I was here. As, my parents dropped me off on January 6^th, 2013, it hit me. It wasn’t the same pain that I felt after Thanksgiving, but it was a feeling that wanted me to quit. I hope you have realized already, but I don’t quit, I never quit. Well, there was this one time when I was five that I quit swimming, but that’s beside the point. The thought of not finishing college had never crossed my mind. When they left me, it was if all of the confidence had been drained out of me. Now, that I look back on it, I realize it was my fault. During my first semester I didn’t keep in contact like I should have. I didn’t text my mom everyday like she had asked, I felt as if I was a grown-up and I didn’t need to speak to them every day. I even felt weird talking to my grandparents on the phone my first semester. I wouldn’t even pick up the phone when my Grandma Sissy called because I didn’t want to be bothered. Silly me I guess, she was the one that babysat me until I was five, and the one that she cares for probably too much. These are just examples of how I messed up first semester; how I set myself up for the lack of confidence for second semester.

The wanting to quit idea actually was in my head for almost a week. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head, and I even was seeking advice from my friends because I didn’t know if what I was experiencing was normal. I got two pieces of advice that really helped me through the “quitting” time. My cousin, Heather told me that “Second semester is harder at first, but it flies by and before you know it you're crying and your parents are dragging you out of your dorm room. This is the best time of our lives...so don't blink!” My cousin is great isn’t she? I mean if you ever experience the 2^nd semester blues like I did, it will be the thing that keeps you moving! The other advice I received was from a friend, and she just told me to not worry, and everything will be okay once you get back into the swing of things. She also said that I should stay busy and cheer my head off at the basketball games, and I did just that!!

 

The “quitting” blues eventually wore off as the first week of classes began because of course I was busy and back into the swing of things. I am probably actually too busy in some people’s eyes, but it keeps me moving. This semester I am loaded down with classes, and every 101 class that UNC offers. I am enrolled in BUSI 101 (Accounting), ECON 101 (Economics), ITAL 101 (Italian), PSYC 101 (Psychology), JOMC 475 (Marketing), and another online class through the community college MAT 151 (Statistics). It is definitely a huge load, but being almost two weeks into it, the workload hasn’t become too overwhelming. The first day of class of my second semester went much better than last semester’s. For one I didn’t sweat nearly as much, and I didn’t have to drop a class.

My FDOC take 2 came kind of early, that dreaded 8am early. I forgot to mention that the class was at the Business School, which is about a fifteen minute walk from my dorm room. The time scared me at first, but since I was able to take my first business class at the Kenan Flagler Business School, I was excited, so the 7am alarm didn’t faze me. (This is just a pre-requisite for the business school, I haven’t actually been accepted yet) As I glided down the brick pathway to class, wearing my new clothes from Christmas, I knew that there was no better way to start my day. Accounting, the name of the class, seemed like boring topic, but as the professor began his spill about the semester I quickly learned that I would look forward to this class. First of all, he told us we could call him by his first name CJ, and then proceeded to tell us that every class we get to listen to four songs in which he calls “four-play.”(The class erupted with laughter) He went on to tell us that we also get to watch a clip of a movie every day, and the first film was Forrest Gump. This FDOC experience was already shaping up to overshadow the fiasco from last semester. Since it was a Wednesday I had three more classes and they all went very smoothly. However, when I walked into Italian the professor rambled off something in Italian that startled me. Coming into the class I had no foreign language experience so I had no clue what he had said. So, I gave him a blank stare and a slight “what’s up nod.” He chuckled and said, “What’s your name?” “Ohhhhh,” I said and responded quickly.

As I approach the end of the first full week of classes I feel as if the Italian class might be my hardest class. I heard that it was pretty simple, but right now it is very complicated, but don’t worry, I have faith!

The reason I shared the “blues” I went through is because I want you to realize that college is not always going to treat you right. Sometimes you will feel on top of the world, and then sometimes you will feel like you just want to quit. But, remember Heather’s quote, it really helped me. I also wanted to reiterate that the second semester will feel harder at first because the excitement of coming to college is not there, at least for me. Before I had orientation, and before the FDOC last semester we had convocation. The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill did a great job of getting me prepared for my first semester of college; however, I quickly realized that I have to get myself ready for the next seven. I have to motivate myself, I have to get through the hard times, and I have to continue to be successful. I came to college to get an education, but that education is not only in the books, but in life. When you prepare for college remember that always stay in touch with your family, and when you start feeling the quitting “blues,” get involved and stay busy, and if you feel the need, dress up in a banana costume and cheer on your basketball team!

 

 

A quote that hangs on my wall, that always gives me encouragement. 

 

Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Christmas Break:

“Arriving Successfully”

November-December 2012

The two weeks after Thanksgiving flew by just as the rest of the semester did. Even though the last two weeks were filled with exams and the anticipation of Christmas break, it felt as if it didn’t happen.

            During the two weeks exams kept me very busy, but exams were not my only time distraction. The Tar Heels played basketball at home every Saturday until my departure, and I had the opportunity of watching my first ever “finals streakers.” (No need to worry we will get to this topic later.)

Finals Week.  I just want you to get used to the word because it comes fast and eight times (let’s hope only eight times) as a college student. It is a time that sends students into an irregular sleep pattern, creates a tremendous amount of stress, and can be outright brutal to first year college students. It is a test to see if you can take multiple amount of test in very little time. Even though the thought of finals can seem unfathomable, I believe that I found a cure for this stressful time. I know that each person deals with pressure differently I just wanted to share a little bit of my journey through finals week.

My first finals week was not as hectic as everyone had made it sound. My exams were pretty spread out, so it gave me time to study for each one. Even though two of my exams were back to back I was able to study thoroughly for each topic. My first college exam couldn’t have been any easier, but I studied my heart out for it. It was LFIT (Lifetime Fitness) and for some reason I studied more for it than I did my other tests. I guess because it was my first ever college exam and I wanted to make sure that I made an A. Also, a quick bit of advice, you can never ever study too much. Since my LFIT exam was earlier in the exam week and my next exam wasn’t until December 8^th, I had plenty of time to study for the one on the 8^th and 9^th. The test I had on the 8^th was a 4pm exam in the class that I disliked the most, which was Decision for Economic Models (really who would like a class with that name), and the exam on the 9^th was at 8am. In 16 hours I had two exams, and I knew I needed to study a bunch in order to do well in the both of them. I figured out that taking turns with each subject helped me study more efficiently and felt like I was getting something out of the studying. I can’t give you all of my tricks because if I did that would ruin all of the fun of learning. That is something that each college student should learn on his/her own. The art of studying is something that will be beneficial to your success in college. The greatest feeling in the world, well in my little world, is walking out of an exam feeling like you did the best you could do. Yes there will be times where you feel like you rocked an exam and you actually failed it, but life goes on. My last exam (Astronomy 101) was on Monday the 10^th, and it was also the day that I was leaving for break. It was probably the longest exam that I had taken of the four because I was anxious to get home and complete my first semester of college.

The final exam week is not only filled with studying at UNC. It is also filled with basketball games, and the wonder tradition of watching the finals streakers. Since I am a huge UNC basketball fan the idea that exams were going on at the same time basketball games were going on, didn’t faze me a bit. I still made it to all of the basketball games that were at home during the exam week. I also showed up on the front row all decked out in my usual Carolina blue paint. Painting up for basketball games is kind of rare at UNC because so few students get basketball tickets; however, I made a promise via tweet that I would “paint up” for the UAB game on December 1^st.  For some odd reason I thought it would be cool to tweet at Luke Davis and tell him that if he would follow me on twitter I would “paint up” and bring a fan club, and to my surprise he followed me. I couldn’t believe that a UNC basketball player would follow me, but he did, and I followed through. I didn’t bring a huge fan club, but two of my friends Kristin and Matt decided to throw on some paint and joined me.

The basketball game definitely relieved some stress and allowed me to make another appearance on ESPN, and not only tweet at, but get tweeted back at by a UNC basketball player, which is on the bucket list of almost all UNC students. (Well the basketball fanatic ones)  Finals streakers is something you will never find in the small town of Valdese, NC. In fact, it is rare that you will find it anywhere that it is actually allowed. However, at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill it is a tradition that still lives to this day. Students of all shapes and sizes streak through the libraries on campus on the night before the first exam day in order to show their excitement for the exam season. When I first heard about it I really didn’t believe it because I thought that it would have to be illegal, but I soon found out it wasn’t. The funny part about the whole ordeal was that the cops actually protected the streakers as they flaunted their “stuff.” Even though becoming a finals streakier was is not on my list, the experience of watching it definitely made my college experience more memorable.  

When I walked off of the steps of Carroll Hall I gave one of those Tiger Woods fist pumps because I had just completed my last final exam for my first semester. Just wait, you’ll experience it.The fist pump was followed by a phone call to my parents, informing them that I was ready to come home!

Christmas Break is by far been awesome. It has been filled with food, family, and friends. It has also allowed me to really reflect on my first semester and think about what my life is actually becoming. I felt confused and I still don’t know what I will be doing with my life when I graduate, but I am more comfortable with that unknown now after a talk with my parents. I believe sitting down and talking with your parents is a great way to interact and learn something from your parents. I actually wrote my mom a letter describing my feelings.

Dear Mom,

I wanted to write you a letter because I believe that I just needed to reflect on the past year, and about the thoughts that run through my head on a daily basis.

I can remember each of our college visits like it was yesterday, and I believe after each visit I said I liked that school the most.  I often wonder what my life would’ve been like if I would have gone to Pfeiffer and played tennis. I would probably be a couple pounds lighter, rocking all A’s, and without a doubt everyone would know my name lol (maybe not that much, I got a little carried away). But I believe that conversation we had in March at the table was the most important talk we had ever had. Remember it? I listed all the positives and negatives about each school, and I thought UNC was the better one. Well I was 100% correct. I really can’t believe how it has all played out, how everything and I mean everything has happened perfectly. From the sports games, to me meeting with professors, the people I have met, and all of the interviews I have rocked; things have just seemed to fall in place. God has defiantly got his eyes and hands on little buddy. However, there is one thing I have a problem with and that is realizing what I want to do with my life.

I know mom that it will come and it will be evident on what I want to do, but I guess I just get impatient sometimes. It’s like I just want to graduate tomorrow, and come back home and work. I really don’t know how to explain it. Or it could be that I hate who I have to live with lol. UNC is a wonderful place and I love every minute of it, but sometimes I wish that I could just fast forward it and become the person I am supposed to be. I continue to look at my goals and I think I have truly realized that success is not going to come easy. Yes, I was motivated enough to make the goals, but I don’t think I realize the difficulty level of it. High School no big deal, but the first goal, my goodness. Kenan Flagler business school doesn’t accept you just because it is one of your goals. “Have my first kid”, I am nowhere ready for that. I think this list was the best thing I could have done for myself. It is really a wakeup call. If I truly want my dreams to become a reality J I have to work my butt off.  I guess I thought it would come easy, but I was majorly wrong.

The goal sheet has also kept my head on straight during this year of change. In this year I changed my mind on colleges (huge decision), graduated high school (still unbelievable), broke up with Brenna, lost my hero (I didn’t know that it would change stuff so much), started college at UNC, embraced the UNC life like no other , became an uncle, and made the UNC Dean’s List. If you were to tell me last January that all that would’ve happened; I would have never have believed you. Since I have been home for a little over a week, it has given me time to really reflect. I am truly blessed, in every way. You and Dad have done things for me that I am just now realizing. The way you have prepared Anna and I for life is remarkable. The way Anna treats Luke just gives me insights of how we were treated as babies. As my life, and I guess our families life continues to rapidly change I know that I will continue to be impressed by your love. Thank you for everything mom and I hope this upcoming year doesn’t knock me with surprises like the last. But I will be ready this time if it does!

In four years I will be writing this letter as a college graduate, and it will probably be hard to fathom then. I don’t want to make any predictions because I will be terribly wrong, but I know that if God has anything to do with it, it will be nothing but special!

 

I love you Mom,

Austin

 P.S. Sorry if I got a little off topic, but I like to share my thoughts J and this is my Christmas letter that I try to write every year, if you forgot!!!

After I read the letter to my parents they both gave my encouragement that I could have never received from a book like this one. My mom told me something that really stuck hard, she said, “Beginnings are scary, endings are sad, but it’s what happens in the middle that matters most.” The more I thought about it the more it made since. As I reflect on high school, I was scared to death the first day, but as I became more comfortable the memories and moments I shared were irreplaceable, and the end was somber because we all knew that a new beginning was knocking at the door. I have learned and I hope that you learn that your parents are your best teachers. When I wrote that letter I was so confused, but the more my parents spoke I became more relaxed and I now know that it doesn’t matter what career path I choose, but how I choose it. I am going to attack this next semester just like it was my first semester, chasing every opportunity and becoming the best student I can be. I made the Dean’s List and I plan on making it again!!!

Well, it’s back to the grind, 20 hour semester…what am I thinking!

 

 

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Homesickness:

“Just another Obstacle”

November-December 2012

 

After parading around Franklin Street, time seemed to flyby. I was already used to time flying by in high school, but I don't believe time had ever moved this fast in my entire life. Before I knew it I was sitting at home enjoying that much awaited thanksgiving meal with my wonderful family. As you may have guessed, the meal not only made me gain a few pounds but also allowed me to catch up with family members I hadn’t seen since school started. Anytime you get to spend time with your family is a blessing, and I always cherish those moments. During the break I was able to discuss my book with my mother and she informed me that I need to talk or give advice about becoming homesick. I had never really felt homesick in my three months on campus, so I thought it would be a difficult topic to write about. However, the dreaded disease of homesickness entered Joyner 115 after my parents dropped me off after break.

In my opinion, Fall Break and Thanksgiving Break was a great time to spend quality time with my family and friends. Even though the breaks gave me an opportunity to spend time with the people I love, which included my new nephew; the breaks made me extremely lazy. The reason they made me lazy because while at home I didn’t do any school work, and I was able to do what I pleased. When I returned from Thanksgiving Break I was coming off of a week of home cooked meals, no homework, and living in a room by myself. I figured that the final two weeks of the semester wouldn’t be too bad, all I needed to do was knock out four exams, and I would be on my way back home.

After my parents and I ate lunch, unloaded my clothes, and decorated my room for the Christmas holidays it was time for them to leave me again. Since I was already used to leaving them and hadn’t really felt homesick yet, I didn’t think much about it. As I made it back to my room I began to work on some work that I had procrastinated over break. I am usually not a procrastinator, but there are a few things above school work on my priority list (family, friends, and food).  When I began to read a paper on China in Africa, I was easily distracted to the things I did on break. The only thing I wanted to do was call my parents to come get me, or they if they didn’t answer, I was contemplating if I could run that far. Of course, I did none of the above, but I really wish that I could have gone home for just a few more hours. I really don’t know if I was just acting lazy, or if I really missed home that badly. It was definitely a feeling that I had never experienced before. So my advice to the people that think they will not be “homesick” at all, you are in for a very rude awakening. I have only gone home twice in three months, and up until Thanksgiving Break I had never felt any kind of homesickness. I thought that I was immune to feeling homesickness, but I guess that everyone has that “momma’s boy” in them.

Every college student learns to deal with homesickness in a different way, but I wish I was given at least some suggestions before experiencing it. If you are like me, college is the first time that you have actually lived by yourself. Sometimes the experience can get very lonely, and it can give you thoughts of giving up. I have never been one of giving up, but there have actually been times where I have considered giving up. However, as the thoughts crossed my mind I saw the goals listed on my wall (goals are so important). Then I realized how blessed I was to be at such a great university, and there are people who would do anything to be in my shoes. So, never forget you are blessed to be where you are, for some reason or another you were meant to be there. As Jimmy Valvano once stated, “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.” Secondly, I would like to share a bit of advice that my dad gave me before I left for college. He said, “Austin, college is going to be hard, if it was easy everyone would do it.” I took that advice to heart. It gives me motivation on a daily basis because it encourages me to do my best even when the subjects or situations become difficult. His advice not only pertains to school work, but the entire college experience can feel overwhelming and difficult at times. When I was feeling homesick after Thanksgiving, I kept repeating his advice in my head. The more I thought about it, the more I began to smile because I should not be dwelling about going home; I should be working hard because that is how I will become successful. Again, it comes back to having goals. If you can place your goals in front of you, nothing but yourself stands in the way of achieving those goals. Finally I would like to inform you that your parents are always just a phone call away. I am almost certain that if you call your parents they would love to talk to you and cure you of your homesickness.

If you have fears of becoming homesick while in college I would just like you to know that my spells have never lasted longer than a day. College offers so many opportunities to keep your mind off of your home. Sometimes you will even forget about home because you will get so engaged with the college environment. I hope you realize that it is perfectly normal to become homesick, and unless you had a terrible childhood, you will experience homesickness in college. In order to become successful you must stick it out, and giving up should never be an option. If you feel a little discouraged just remember the advice my father gave me. “If it were easy, everyone would do it.”

           

 

 

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The Tradition:

“Halloween on Franklin”

October 31, 2012

 

In most colleges the time between Fall Break and Thanksgiving Break is the time for midterms. Since I am a freshman I really didn’t understand the concept because in high school we never had an actual midterm, or in general terms, a test that counts for about 30 percent of your final grade. Tests in my high school were usually given by the plenty, and performing badly on one exam/test really didn’t set you back or determine your grade in that class. Even though some college classes have more than a couple of grades, it is more often than not that your grade will consist of three or four main exams.

Even though college will present you with times that will take your stress level to its max, it will also give you things to do that actually help levitate stress. One of the biggest traditions at UNC is Halloween on Franklin St.  Franklin St. is the center of social life on the campus of UNC-CH. It is where people from all across the area come in their costumes and walk up and down the historic Franklin St. Every year about 30,000 people attend the event, and it is the biggest event on Franklin, unless of course, the basketball team wins a National Championship. In which, I hope they do at least once in my four years because that would make one heck of a chapter.

While I was studying for all of my midterms, I knew I also had to think of a costume. I wanted to be original so  people would laugh, notice, or even take a picture with me. I also thought it would be cool to go with someone. So, I ended up letting my friend pick her costume first, and I would build off that. During Fall Break she informed me that she was going to be Peter Pan, and I could either be Captain Hook or Tinkerbelle. In order to stand out on Franklin St, you can probably guess which character I chose. Tinkerbelle. Austin Helms was going to be Tinkerbelle. I just want it to sink it in for a minute.

Since I live by the motto “Go Big” I wanted the costume to look ridiculous and legitimate all at the same time. Since I was at home when I decided to become the wonderful character Tinkerbelle; I had plenty of time to collect all of the pieces of my costume. If you haven’t figured it out by now, the best place to get Halloween costumes or parts is from a local thrift store. I found a perfect green V-neck in the Valdese Thrift Shop. The lady at the counter gave me an odd look as I purchased a woman’s shirt, but I didn’t care, I knew more looks were coming. My mom helped me create this outrageous costume, which I also found odd, but you can’t blame her, she loves her son. She made me a homemade tutu, and let me use some of the wings from her classroom. (By the way my mom is a teacher; she’s pretty good at thisJ)

Finally it was time for me to spread my wings and fly down to Franklin Street. I slipped on the tights, the sweet white booty shorts, the sparkly tutu, and grabbed my wand, and was ready to rock! I’ll keep this story short and tell you that I was laughed at, pointed at, and most of all I was told that I actually looked like a girl. I didn’t know how to take that comment, but I guess I reached the goal of a legitimate costume.

Since I was dressed up like a girl I didn’t mind doing obnoxious things. For instance, my Peter Pan kept wondering away from me, and it just seemed weird walking around dressed up as Tinkerbelle without Peter. I probably yelled, “PETER!!” 100 times that night. When Peter wasn’t with me I was accompanied by a large group of Minions, whom kept me very warm. It was so cold that night, and I had barely any clothes on which didn’t help my cause. I really don’t know how I would have survived without them!

I’ll be the first to tell you that a man dressed as a Tinkerbelle that is walking around with a bunch of Minions, captures a ton of attention. Click, Flash, Cheese!! Pictures were taken left and right, from big people, small people, and people that creped me out. I definitely don’t want to become a celebrity.

As the cameras began to dwindle away the night had just begun. It was now time to go to Ms. D’s for the dance party!

Every college student needs to realize that there is a time to study and work hard, but there is also time to have a great time. However it all depends on your definition of having a great time. My opinion of having a great time is hanging out with friends, sharing stories, and in certain situations, getting my dance on. Even though you might be thinking that “having fun” means drinking; I would strongly disagree. Since I have grown up in a family that alcohol was never a staple, I have learned that it is best to stay away from the temptation. When I was packing my bags to start this adventure called college I thought that was all college was about. However, I have soon learned that it all depends on who, and what you choose to do. It all comes down to choice. Yes, I have been to one fraternity party, and quickly learned that it was not the place for me. (Mom if you’re reading, I stood there and made fun of the drunk people, you know me). My advice would be is to try to not depend on alcohol for “having fun.” My reasoning behind not partaking in the drinking scene is because I believe that it offers you no, absolutely no incentives. What happens if you get a ticket? There goes your chance of getting in to the Business School? I also believe that if you have to have alcohol to have fun, there is something wrong. I am not judging anyone; I am just stating my opinion and I believe that fun is not found in a bottle, but through friends. I hope this actually makes you consider being abstinent from drinking while in college. It will really open your eyes to so many more things. Well enough of this, I need to talk about the D’s.

The D’s dance party is a “dry” party that is held every month. A “dry” party just means no alcohol. This month was extra special because it was Halloween, and everyone showed up in their costumes. The D’s is just a house that a bunch of UNC seniors live in, and they always move their furniture outside for the dances so people can dance in their living room. Let me tell you though, this house is not very large. The living room is probably meant to fit 20 people. On Halloween there were probably 75 people crammed into that little living room. Everyone was going crazy and jumping up and down as the music blared through the speakers. It was really difficult for me to maneuver through the cramped living room because my wings kept getting tangled up with people. When I finally made it to the center, I lifted my wand and turned the little blinkers on, it was if I was carrying the Olympic torch. Yet again, I think I was the highlight of the D’s as my wand lit up the room.

My first Halloween on Franklin was a huge success. It allowed was a huge stress reliever from all of the midterms. By making a fool of myself I not only did things that I would have never dreamed of, but boosted my morale on campus. I was now the guy that was Tinkerbelle! I guess that’s cool…… but it’ll do for now.

Even though I am not an expert on taking tests, I would like to give you a little bit of advice on how to study. If you don’t know it by now, college takes work. The week before my AFRI 101 exam my professor informed the class that in order to be successful in her class you must spend 15 hours studying. The thought of studying for 15 hours might sound a little harsh, well a lot, but it’s not that bad, trust me. My best advice for studying is to study early. If you start studying a week before you will stress less, and the material will be easier to translate to that exam.  I would like to let you know that I made a 90 on my AFRI exam, with the high grade being a 93. Studying really does payoff, and that makes those fun times even sweeter!